Similarly, instead of saying, "I was laid off," you could say, "I was emancipated from my current job situation, which allows me to seek something that will be a better fit." You can end that statement in various ways: a better fit, better pay, more opportunities, a chance for advancement, or a higher position.

There are numerous ways to talk about what is happening to you, with you, and around you. So, what difference does it make? That's the question. It makes a significant difference because you can speak as if you are a victim and things happen to you—people discard you, jobs no longer want you. Do you understand how that sounds? It's extremely negative. You can speak about what's going on in that way, but for me, it just adds a heavier burden and baggage to the situation. It makes it seem like there's something I have to fight through. Maybe I will have to fight through it, but how you look at it does make a big difference. If you speak about things in positive language, your ability to fight through and overcome them changes because your outlook changes.

If I'm looking at things positively, I don't feel like things are happening to me. I don't carry the heaviness of the situation. When I look at it and speak about it positively, it allows me to approach and walk through that situation with a sense of hopefulness. Are there times when you're going to feel bad? Yes, that happens. We're human; we have emotions. We're human; we also have a history and can be triggered by things. You can look at that negatively or positively. We can look back on our history and see the strengths we used to get through hard times. We can be triggered by positive things, be motivated, and uplifted by the positive things that have happened in our lives. Every trigger doesn't have to be negative.

When we begin to understand that we can look at something and, if we are hurting from it, reframe it to position it in a more positive way, it changes our perspective. This isn't to say we're happy about what happened, but rather that we recognize the opportunity present in the situation. When you see an opportunity, it allows you to hold onto hope, plan, and move forward. I don't know about you, but when I'm in a dark place and don't see any light, it's hard to walk through it. It's difficult to get out of bed in the morning. You can't change what you can't change, but there are some things you can change. Reframing allows you to take the negative and reframe it, speak about it in a way that empowers you, and find strength and hope. It allows you to see light. When you can see these things and experience hopefulness, it enables you to get through difficult times, learn from them, and become better. 

Reframe your experiences. Think about things that have happened in your past. Write them out as you have always talked about them: "I was molested," "I was accused," and then think about how you can reframe them. These are serious things; please don't think I'm trying to minimize them. They are very serious. However, they are also things we overcome, things that strengthen us after breaking us, things we fight through. But the language of victimhood can sometimes keep us stuck. It can act as a weight, a wall, an added burden, a prison. The language of victory and the opportunity to reframe will set us free.

People say truth is not always black and white; there's a perspective we carry. Our truth can be positive or negative, but we always have the opportunity to reframe it in a way that lifts us up and sets us free, that emancipates us. Try it for yourself. When you write down how you speak about your past, your hurt, your pain, reframe it. If you need to, write it in a journal for the next 40 days until you believe it. If you need to, speak it into a mirror until you see it inside of you. Do that. Be whole.